vent2

12/16/01 i feel incomplete. opportunities feel wasted. my mind is all over the place and feeling overwhelmed. i need to scream and let out the frustration with out letting anyone know that i'm crazy. i want to break someone's face without causing bodily harm. i need to stay focused, prepare myself to the fullest and take the best route. deep breathe, relax, think, move forward.

J. MAJESTY EUROPEAN TOUR 10/11-11/18/01

Cast of Characters: Spanky Van Dyke - vocals/guitar, JJ Onthesun - guitar, Jim Kimball - bass, DWM - drumkit, Rainer - driver/tour manager

London, UK this tour book was given to us after our tour manager/driver named Rainer got annoyed from us asking too many questions??? i woke up in the morning after a ridiculous long flight to London from JFK at the home of Thomas D. he is one of our main men at southern records, our distributor. the train ride with all our stuff from the airport to the southern office to meet thomas and crew was a nightmare. i remember wishing rainer was there a day early to give us a ride.

we headed to Rainer's friend's warehouse/home in NE london that morning, which is where we stayed for the rest of our time in the UK. On that day i got a chance to play some indoor cricket with his friend Jam's wired roommates. the next day was the first show in europe and it was a big one. our album has been being played on a big radio station X-FM and we were to be recorded live. after a quick run through at Jam's, complaint from the neighbors and all, we were ready and it rocked. thanks to the great enthusiasm of the southern staff, we see only great things ahead.

Rotterdam, Holland we took a four hour ferry ride across the english channel and landed in town in time for sound check. the club was called the Waterfront and it was beautiful as with the rest of the city. the people were so accommodating, but that may have been partly because Nils, the manager, was a friend of Jim's girlfriend. these guys seem to know everybody. the crowd was decent and the performance was pretty good. we woke up at nil's to some breakfast of cereal and breads with all sorts of crazy spreads. i made some chocolate cornflakes by adding these sprinkles. nils also had a mad cd collection. i didn't see one embarrassing cd out 700 or so, though he feels differently.

Hoogstraten, Belgium Rainer is a mad driver, making moves in his American Diesel Chevy van that only NASCAR drivers make. the town was small, very old and beautiful. definitely not a full on city, but the promoters knew that and only book live music once every 2 weeks. the place was packed wondering what is up with this american band they heard on the radio. the response was rough, though i thought we played well. i believe Reiziger should have headline. they are a belgium band named after a holland soccer player that sound a bit like Blond Redhead to me. i believe if they did headline, the people would have been more relaxed towards us. not the promoters mind you. they were great, feeding us pumpkin soup and tons of snacks, beer and soda along putting us up in this fine bed & breakfast.

after 3 shows in a row we knew we had the next day off, so we got wild style. i got into a few tense discussions about music and what happen on 9/11/01 and how america is portrayed after the retaliation towards afganistan. but then it happened. the gear was still partially up and the drunken jam began.

Hamburg, Germany Rainer's hometown. we stayed at his brother Dirk's house which is where we sat around for 4 days, playing one show to a mediocre but reponsive crowd. we played better than all the other days so far. it is all coming together like a tour should, i just know it wouldn't take as long if the stagnit days did not excist. i checked and wrote alot of email back home, thinking about Breigh a whole lot. the redlight district was a hoot. hooker's everywhere, even in storefront windows. i saw the place the Beatles first played, listened to alot of german bands off Dirk's turntable, and hung out in Mutter , the hip, cool bar downstairs. in this waterfront bar we ran into this crazed homeless singer/songwriter/schezophrenic from Chicago named Wesley Willis. all he wants to do is write the rock songs and put them on his record, drink coke, growl and casually give loving headbutts. he has a 3 inch bruise on his forehead as a result of 6 years of bonding. the rest of the guys were flipping out because they have his records back home. i felt everyone was treating him like a circus act, but what else can you do. it was in a loving way none the less.

Darmstadt, Germany breads, spreads, cigarettes and beer is what i think of when i think of europe. in darmstadt we played in the Oetinger Villa, which was more or less an old run down Mansion of the Oetinger family. at some point it came in government control, probably during WWII, and social workers now use it to have shows. there is an amzing fell to it. we searched through the entire house finding out that some people still live there as we stayed there ourselves. chandileers and large stain glass windows filled the main hall. i can only imagine how beautiful it once was. we played well, though i'm having a bit of a time getting this new song together at soundcheck and settling on my parts. why do people insist on calling us emo-core?

Dresden, Germany it's hard to believe that i'm in what was once East germany. when i was last in europe the Berlin Wall was still standing though the communist reign was on it's way out. that was a long time ago, almost 12 years. i was staying with my friend Olaf and his family in Dormagen, just outside Dusseldorf and Koln. it has been that long since i've been to europe so this whole trip has been pretty fascinating.

i got a little history about the club we were playing. it was a very large venue and it's usage has changed through the years. before WWII it was an old ballroom, and from the looks of the drawling they had of it, it looked quite elegant back then. during the wartime it was converted to a movie theatre. you can still see the holes where the projections were once shot through. the last 8 years it has been a rock club and a ton of american bands have since played. i guess the hype is over because there were only about 20 people in a place that could hold 500 or so. the sound was amazing and the playing was pretty good. good enough that i think we sold something to everyone there, even signing a cd for this guy. all in all, if they actually received the posters the guy would have been able to promote harder. he was actually feeling bad about it, begging us not to take this hard and come back next time. these drives seem to be getting longer and longer. the landscapes and farms are gorgeous, but the smell of the Bavarian pastures is putrid.

Wasserburg, Germany Spanky has said that the smaller towns usually make the best shows and i've come to think he is right. Wasserburg is an upper class suburb of Munich and it was totally amazing. at first it was quite a shock playing such a small place, having only a vocal P.A., especially after where we played last night, but the place was packed out.

the night started out with us rolling in and immediately checking our email. Email seems to be the only reasonable way to keep in contact with home. i was in the midst of typing and who rolled in the room but my man Olaf. though he looked slightly different, the personal connection happened immediately. it was if i saw him a month or so ago, not 12 years. we caught up, reminisced, and hung out with the others. he was really fascinated with Spanky's Built By Wendy shirt, so Spanky gave him one. I think it was more than worth the trip he made from Munich for the both of us.

as the night wore on, people got friendlier and drunker. the space was filled with cigarette smoke and was steaming hot. we jumped on stage and rocked a slamming set. i couldn't even make it through the 4th song before i had my shirt off. we did a standard amount of numbers and as we trotted off stage people screamed for an encore. we obliged. it was an unforgettable night ending with us sleeping at the club manager Root's guest house, beds made to our waiting. the quote of the tour so far... JJ outside being his normal goofy self when Rainer leans outside the window saying in an Arnold Terminater sounding voice, "Shut up and get in the van, man!".

Roznov, Czech Republic if i based my opinion on my visit to Roznov alone, i would think that the Czech Republic was almost 3rd world. my parents said Prague is beautiful, but unfortunately we didn't have a show there. after a ridiculous long drive from Wasserburg, we arrived at the venue. greeted by a few punk rockers, the place was in absolute shambles. it reminded me of the anti-government "Compound" in Atlanta or that punk rock haven in Ashville called the Pink House. the immediate reaction was to leave, but as it seems as with most folks we met, they were very hospitable. they fed us a carrot, turnip and potatoe stew, almost like something my mom used to make in her crockpot. it was hardy and warmed me up from the nasty cold and rainy weather that we were dealing with the whole drive there. fortunately, i didn't see the mouse shit on the tables as the others did.

we ended up playing solo and the longest set to date. we were asked for an encore though half the crowd scattered mid-set. at no surprise to us, the promoter told us later that we aren't the usual type of music played there. i guess if it's not heavy the entire time they don't want to hear it. at the end of the night i was glad to find out we were staying at the promoter's house because i was dreading which nasty discusting couch i was going to have to sleep on. his apartment wasn't much cleaner, though it could have been nice. they were just slobs. we awoke to his extremely skinny and dreaded roomate playing his electronic music to us without us knowing. he was a sneaky guy, though i did think it was pretty good.

Brno, Czech Republic Brno on the other hand was absolutely stunning. the drive was short that day so we had some time to walk about the pedestrian area. we later went to the promoter Martin's flat, 6 stories up, where his wife made us egg noodles with a tomatoe based broth. i could tell right away that a girl lived there because it had that "women's touch". i saw them interacting and it made me miss Breigh. i'm sure that's why she says during the week she get's along fine, it keeps her busy, but that downtime can be rough sometimes.

the show awoke me though. it was packed and the energy was great. the crowd was pleasantly responsive though i thought i was sloppy. then chaos struck again. those guys got loaded with the opening band, a music school/ Berklee styles rock outfit. JJ, Spanky, and Jim found themselves stubbling into the neighboring stripclub (we think was a whorehouse). Rainer tried to retrieve them, but they dreadingly declined. 5 minutes later after they ran out of cash and came to their senses they tried to track us down. we were long gone. they ended up spending the night in the freezing van while we and their sleeping bags were at Martin's place.

Linz, Austria surprising to me the Linz experience has been the best to date. the Kapu club was just right size for us and the performance that evening was amazing. before hand we were given our sleeping quarters just above the performance space, 3 stories up and fed an awesome meal of mushroom & spinach struddle, vegetable soup, and salad along with the normal snacks. after the playing a great set we were joined on stage by Mr. Bombastic. he was an irish volunteer for UNICEP, in his 50's, travelling and telling stories with a guitar as he rolls up into town with this mish mash of eclectic styles and comedy. a real treat to end the evening with until JJ pulled the plug fearing Mr. B was thrashing the guitar that he let him borrow.

Gorizia, Italy was real mellow. the day was long after having problems with the van. we arrived late to a nervous, but sweet promoter named Elizabeth. She rushed us to step-in, have a quick line check and run out the door for dinner. we went to this great restaurant where we were offered lasagna or rabbit. guess which one i ate? the venue was an art gallery and reminded me a bit like the Redlight cafe in Atlanta. Elizabeth later helped us out with a van rental and brought us to a very nice private suite to sleep. she was definitely a blessing.

IIirska Bistrica, Slovenia the van wasn't going to be available until the day after next so instead of canceling the show Rainer dared to drive the van. it was only an alternater problem, so it made us there, as long as we didn't turn the car off. when we got to the club,MKNZ, we were greeted by this bearded teddy bear named Leo. he fed us another great meal this time of pasta and fresh hand-picked mushrooms. the club was a dive and the set was uneventful, other than the reoccuring gear problems JJ and i were both having. we stayed at a youth hostle that was a 5 minute walk from the club. the place felt more like a college dorm to me with what appeared to be people living there all year round. Spanky and Rainer got up early to get the new van. it is a Fiat with that classic eurostyle. i believe i'm getting car sick.

Verona, Italy who is to say anyone can predict what this tour will bring? when we rolled back into Italy towards Verona it was in our new van. the venue, Interzona, was huge and historic. i don't know what it is with me and runned down places, but some are really appealing to me. this place used to be an old refrigeration station, one of the first places to invent it in europe. it was a large circular building that was the center point of all these train tracks. it appears as though the trains would pull up inside and get loaded with whatever product it was taking across europe. when i first saw the place i swore it was going to be a flashback to Dresden, but how wrong i was. the place wasn't sold out or anything but somewhere between 200-300 people came out. we played well though it was the first time in 5 nights we didn't play an encore. the lights stayed dim as if they wanted more. we just felt for the amount of people there the yelling didn't seem to be very loud. did that sound conceited? once again the food was great and i met some really nice people. one girl is moving to Philadelphia soon to stay with her father, who has been contracted there for 3 years. i wish i could remember people's names.

Rome, Italy i love italy as i knew i would. everything about it: the climate, the people, the food and the architecture. when we arrived in Rome, it was already dark. we met the promoter Barnardo at the nearest landmark, a train station, and we followed him to the club. it was a private club of some sort, being that everyone needed a "membership card". it's so funny how easy it is to get around the law sometimes. after being fed mozzarella sandwichs and pizza the crowd started to roll in. it appeared that Rome just played a soccer match with someteam that usually shares the same stadium. i don't know who won, but i know the score was 1-0.

we went on pretty late, much later than planned, about 1:30 am or so. the place was packed wondering what was up, and we held on strong. though always a few people seem to leave mid-set, an encore was requested for what i think was our best show. afterwards the italian booking agent's son came up to say hi. he liked the show and said he was going to tell his father we were a good choice. he's also a drummer so i slipped him a BKLYN cd. we stayed at simone's house and the next morning he took us downtown to the Coliseum and for great 3 pepper pizza, no cheese.

Ferrara, Italy was gorgeus and for some reason i decided to leave my camera at the club. stupid move, we walked all about the shopping areas that were lit cobblestone streets of both wide open roads and tight alley ways. the food, of course, continues to be amazing whether it was the pasta fest at our promoter Titiano's house or the pies we had the late night before. Titiano's friend Ernesto was a very generous and gentle man putting us up for 2 nights. he took digital photos of us the whole time, documenting our stay there. it appears this is something he really enjoys doing because he has done it for Karate, At the Drive-in, Unwound and others. i'm sort of sad leaving Italy and I'm not looking forward to a few days off, with shows every other day.

Yverdon, Switzerland bad enough we are going to average 2 days a week off on this tour and drive what seems a minimum of 5 hours a day, but to roll up to the venue and find out our show has been canceled is rough. i really can't hold it against anyone. this is our first time in europe and things like this are expecteded. what seemed to have happen is the venue Amalgame lost it's permit. it seems as though they are no longer aloud to have shows during the week by the result of other promoters abusing that privilage. the place was extremely nice, the backstage was bigger than some of the clubs we played. it was rough to be there and not be aloud to play. i spoke with this guy who was a drummer of some heavy band and brother of the promoter. he asked me details about 9/11 and stated his opinion and place in true Swiss fashon...NEUTRAL. he wishes to remain just that. i guess you could say he was sympathetic, though he'd rather not get involved. we got up the next morning and were on our way.

Munich, Germany 3 days in the van is starting to drill on me. i did see Olaf again in Munich. we went there to pick up our new VW van, this van rules! i can even stand up in it.

Bordeaux, France beautiful, boring and our first encounter with Formula 1 - the self service hotel.

Gorliz/Bilbao, Spain i'm trying to remember, but i think we have stayed in everytype of boarding place possible. floors of a warehouse in London, floors of a nice flat with tons of roomates in London, floors of a dirty flat in Rosnov, a nice apartment complex of a young couple in Brno, nice hotels in Verona and Dresden, a bed & breakfast in Belgium, a youth hostile in Slovenia, a guest house in Wasserburg and Gorizia, Italy, above the club in Austria and in Darmstadt, Germany, in a self service one room efficient in France with self cleaning showers and toilets, and a permanent trailor at a campground here in Spain. is there any where else we could go?

Spain in alot of ways feels like San Diego. i think it's the housing, the beach and the mountains. Bilbao is a cool little city. we played in Gorliz, a small beach community that was quite relaxing and yet the crowd that night was very responsive. i believe even with the downtime this tour has been a success so far. the next time around should be even better, a tighter schedule would be nice. say a month straight of shows everyday with shorter drives.

Saint Feliou, Spain was in full on spanish style as any american would think. everything let me know how much they have influenced Mexico and the southwest of the United States. i'm still amazed how frequent the languages change. in this region they were not speaking classical spanish, it actually had some french mixed in it. Bilbao was actually what they call the Bask section. Bask is an ancient language as old as Latin, yet for some reason or another it is still spoken. i feel though having all these languages definitely allows people to be rooted in their own culture, it also holds them back to what's going on outside their community. this of course is if they don't know 3 or 4 languages as many people do.

the show was in this old municipal building. the turnout was as low as Dresden, but the energy was high. they made as much noise as some of the larger crowds. with a day off scheduled for the next day, we decided to do an acoustic set at the radio station our promoter, Agost, worked at. it went so well we took it to the local bar where they fed us dinner and a hell of a good time. GUINESS ALL AROUND!! it seems spanky and i missed some excitement at this bearded women's house afterwards. i wasn't there so i don't feel like i should tell what happened....i've decided to give growing a beard a chance. the batteries on my razor are almost dead and looking shaggy by the end seems inevitable. let's see what 2 and a half weeks will bring.

Paris, France i don't know what to think of this place. we arrived early to the club, enough time to grab the subway to the shopping area. the subway was emmaculate, almost embarrassing NYC MTA. i have a feeling it was because of the sliding glass doors blocking the tracks allowing no one to venture below or to throw their refuse in that vacinity. the downtown area was filled with cobblestones and the typical international chain restaurants and shops that is in almost every mall and tourist section of the states. while i was waiting for Rainer outside the PUMA store this girl stands in front of Spanky and i. i acknowledged to Spanky that she was attractive and he agreed as he left searching for Rainer. she continued to stare at me making me feel uncomfortable. my eyes shifted letting her know i was not interested. i guess this disturbed her, she must have wanted more. she walked by me saying something and SPIT at my feet. i heard the french disliked americans but i think that was a bit much. i had enough at that point and took the subway back to the venue.

The club was also strange. we were playing on an old pirate ship docked on the river. they fed us well but that didn't help the continuous feeling of sea-sickness i had through out the night. the show was bizarre. the ship bowed towards the middle and being we played on one end meant everything was leaning forward. i felt as though i was doing a Tommy Lee style drum solo. the whole night i was trying to balance myself because the boat was moving and waving all around. it was definitely interesting to say the least.

American Analog Set from Austin, Texas played with us that night. it was nice to hang with some americans and see how their first european tour was going. it sounded as it was a little better than ours in some areas. the were really nice and easily the best band we played with so far. they seemed a bit burned out on touring. i'm sure the 8 weeks they did before their month in europe didn't help that.

Gronigen, Holland it was a long drive back to Holland. Hans, our booking agent, came to Paris with Amanset and we were his ride home. he's a real nice guy and really seems to be behind us. we dropped him off at his boat house in Amsterdam and headed directly to the venue. an amazing place it was. Nirvana, Bad Brains and U2 all played there. the hospitality was superb as they even let us stay in the rooms above the club on our day off. the average amount of people showed and we played well as a band though i don't think i took many chances. we are in the homestretch. one more date in Belgium and then it's across the channel to finish the last few dates in the UK. i went to a "Koffee" shop with JJ and Jim. what a peaceful place. i can't see why they make such a big deal about it in the States. it seemed very civalized being legal.

Zichem, Belgium was boring, at least this time around. we watched the soccer game downstairs as the Belgium national team qualified for the World Cup finals by beating the Czech Republic team 1-0. i have to say i understand the excitement of "football". the fine details of fancy foot work along with the collisions trying to head the ball are all entertaining. there was plenty of action to go around. i think americans cannot truely bond with the game because there is no tradition with in the states and few play it past the age of 7. the same is true with most europeans and their feelings towards baseball and understandibly so.

the show was blah for me though the guys thought we went over well. i was just feeling a bit sick. the entire time that the other bands were playing i was bundled up, sitting by the heater, high on asprin, trying to warm up. it was good to see Reiziger again. they seemed happy to see us as well. we stayed up all night playing fussball, more or less killing time until we had to grab the ferry into England. we crashed in the van and on the ship, basically missing a nights sleep.

Leicester, UK back to the english language and driving on the left side of the road. it doesn't trip me out too much this time around. i just wonder why they let an ancient rivalry match like jousting determine why they are different then every other country in europe. the show last night felt more like a house party than a gig. we watched Shrek and played Playstation 2 in the downstairs bar before we went on. a few young bands with potential played along with Jay of Wolf Colonel who performed a cosey campfire set. he was in the midst of the audience, strumming away on his electric guitar singing out with no microphone. we played a very good short and solid set i think even impressing Jay. in the true house party spirit we crashed right in the middle of the performance room. i set up 10 chairs to make a bed.

Exeter, UK i don't know what it was about Exeter, but i can't say i was found of it. we stayed in a really nice bed & breakfast and the promoters were quite pleasant. the club was a neat underground place hidden in the shopping district. even the fodd served at the pub across the way was good. if i really think about it comes down to the local university crowd being rather tough. we were scheduled with some really bad to mediocre post hardcore bands, so maybe they were expecting us to be heavy all the way through. some seemed to have a real good time though. i guess i was in a bad mood. Rainer seems to be the same. i just keep my mouth shut because i know he means well and we are almost done. there is no need to have a blowout battle now.

Cardiff/Wales, UK the show was wacked from the start and turned out to be a gem. we played with Jay of Wolf Colonel again along with Jarcrew. they were the most interesting band we played with all tour. they had a 80's new wave meets Faith No More vibe to them. before we got there we got a call from the agent Ian that the local promoter was in the hospital and the show maybe canceled. he later called back and said EVERYTHING was on. when we got there the soundguy approached us saying he's not willing to give us the guarantees, hospitality, beer and the only food will be some soup and bread. on top of that he was going to take his share of the money before we saw a dime. it wasn't that he was being a jerk, it's just he wasn't willing to risk losing any money on a show he didn't schedule and promote. after a chat with Jarcrew, we decided to play it and it was well worth it. JJ had his best show to date. i believe stealing the whole performance with his solo in No School. the guitar player of Jarcrew later offered us a place to stay. we brought in our beers we got in Belgium and later Ian covered the balance of the money that was short of the guarentee. so everything worked out fine other than Ian said he was going to quit promoting shows. i don't think it was directly caused by Rainer barking at him, but i'm sure that was the last straw.

London, UK the turnout was average for this tour, but disappointing after hearing we have been in rotation of the X-FM X-Poseure show. i heard Amanset had asellout crowd at a 75 person capacity venue with 100 or so outside wishing to get in. i guess opening for Dismemberment Plan 4 days before paid off. the performance we had was great and everyone from Southern loved it. it's great to feel support from those within the label. Thomas D put us up at his home again along with helping us pick our setlist.

New Castle, UK this show felt as though we were playing an old english bar on the top of Hollywood Hills. it took us awhile to find the place, but when we did, it all feel into place. i felt lazy and borrowed the opening band's kit. it was actually better than the beast i'm renting but my pedal wouldn't fit on the hoop of the bass drum. after some playing adjustments i kicked in to a free on energetic set, one of my personal best of the tour. i have such a great feeling after i play well. it makes the fact that i have no money and had to wait until after the gig to eat worth it. The food was good too; some sort of vegetarian chili. the guy whose drums i used didn't seem to mind i destroyed the head of his rack tom. i offered him a replacement , but he told me not to worry. he said it was good to see somebody really play his kit. if he tuned his heads a little higher and tighter i probably wouldn't have dented them in the first place.

Colin and his wife were really cool promoters. when they invited us back to their home to eat and sleep, the accommodations were all set. i can always tell when girls are involved. the hospitality is always much nicer. besides the homemade food she had towels, pillows, blankets, music and movies all waiting for our disposal. we caught Clerks late that night, Motley Crue uncensored in the morning along with all of our first glimpse of the Rival School's Used for Glue video on MTV2. Rival's drummer Sammy was even wearing a Spanky Van Dyke shirt. too cool for the support. i can't wait to head on the road with those guys again.

Glasgow/Scotland, UK a full room, great vegetarian meals, nice people and good sounding set all made this show a great experience. the soundman Brendan was especially cool and very enthusiastic. he used to play drums for Teenage Fanclub, a band that at one point played the MTV music awards. so nice to meet someone who has had that much success and is as nice and supportive as anyone can be. i want to come back!

9/18/01 NYC is slowly coming back to normal. the news media is scaring the world, but i'm trying to get back to my life. i'm sure retaliation is still at hand, but i know the mourning period for the most part is over. i heard my first horn honk today. nyc is back!?? everywhere people are trying make a buck selling american flags of all sizes and photos of the WTC. patriotism is big business to some. outside on 34th and 6th a loud BANG!! erupted outside. people scattered about as me and a few other curious people ran outside to take a peak and see if the empire state building was still standing. fortunatly it was only a car tire blownout. let me take that back, nyc is NOT back to normal. last night on tv i saw david letterman show a side of him that made me feel that everyone is human. even dan rather got shook up by the emotion being portrayed on the Late Night stage. i'm starting to believe we will do the right thing. please let there be peace.

9/15/01 walking through union square seeing hundreds of candles in memory of those lost and the posters of pictures of those not found brings only one feeling to me....please let there be PEACE. love will conquer, not justice. justice is sometimes just another word for revenge.

9/14/01 another day has gone by with the city slowly opening to the public. i'm questioning when this sleeping giant will retaliate. friends of mine from all over the country called to find if i'm okay and to wish the city well. some even have been volunteering at their local charity plaza. i wish this feeling of unity would last forever. why can't it? why does it always take a national crisis or a family member dying before someone says i love you? not that i'm feeling any of the compassion is contrived and false. i just wish love and sincerity was what was first on peoples list, not power and money. i am idealist i must admit.

9/13/01 Nostradamus has predicted that the 3rd world war will start when fire flys from the sky and striking the 2 towers in the city of york. this prediction scares me more than anything else i've seen so far. though i heard this from a friend of mine who swears to have looked it up, alot have said this is just another internet rumor. Urban Legends

9/12/01 manhattan has a somber feel too it. the streets are empty other than few screaming emergency vehicles and the bikers and skaters that have the road to themselves. the streets have been baracaded and cops are checking i.d.'s in a very pleasant manner before they allow anyone to their destination. i'm still in shock like most of the city, quiet, reserved and worn out though i'm not doing a thing other than being glued to the television. it's been on for over 36 hours straight other than the 6 i used to sleep last night.

people are talking about moving out of the city. i'm staying. the only things that will make me leave are the same things that i would leave for regardless of this tragedy: space, fresh air and green grass. this city is too strong to not rebound and for the first time i believe in guilianni's leadership. he appears to be stronger and more real than GW. i hope the people i care about don't leave. there is alot more to get from this place.

9/11/01 an act of war has struck the city which i now call my home. sometimes twice a week i find my myself down and about the financial district. the hustle and bussle under the modern day pyramids rarely stopped to appreciate the view. the skyline looks empty, clouded with dust. today terrorist destroyed 3 symbols of what america is known for: pentagon = military power, world trade center buildings = financial power, and closed down our polls on this election day = democracy.

many people are missing and lives are in chaos and question. anger doesn't reach me, only saddness. sadness for the families with love ones lost and for the hate that was created to cause this awful yet avoidable catastrophy.

7/16/01 some famous artist once said that once anyone releases their creation out to the public, it no longer belongs to the creator. i've sense this to be true. if any artist wanted to keep their piece, they would want to protect it by not allowing others to ruin their vision of it. everyone's opinion has an effect; good, bad, justifiable or not. i choose to acknowledge the comment and base my reaction by who is saying it and what grounds they have. what have they done to expose themselves and what angle are they usually coming from?

constructive criticism is a wonderful learning tool. i take it in. i recognize that person's history and view. then i decide if that opinion is worth effecting my life. being respected by critics and my peers is refreshing, but one thing i learned, as much as i would like to, i can't please everyone. even john lennon has gotten hate mail.

5/30/01 what is freedom of choice? is that what this country really wants? the liberal left and the conservative right have more in common then they realize. though on opposite ends of the political spectrum both are EXTREME. both have their own views based on their own set of morals and both feel they can tell others how to live their lives. conservatives scream right to life about abortion yet also are on the forefront of the NRA and the death penelty. the liberals scream peace not war while justly having an abortion. how much different is someone bombing an abortion clinic than the violence that occured in Seattle during the World Bank meetings?

Ex. 1 what makes this country beautiful to me is that it is the melting pot. a conglomerate of people from all four corners of the globe having there choice to make any life they seem fit without directly harming the innocent. freedom of CHOICE is the key. animal cruelty makes me ill, but in no way would i ban the right to eat meat or wear fur because of the values i have. how different is that than the religous right telling gays how to live by what the Bible has told them? i choose not to own a gun, but i think it's great we live in a country that if you choose to protect yourself and your family you have the right to do so.

Ex. 2 on another angle... two consenting adults have sex and the women gets pregnant. her body, her choice as it stands, yet the child is half the man's. if the women chooses to have an abortion the man has to sit there and take it regardless if he wants to have and care for the child. but if she chooses to have the child and the man doesn't want to, he is then expected to pay child support. where is the fairness in that? it seems as though the women is the only one who truly has the choice. my own values say i would keep, love and support the baby no matter what my relationship with the women may be. at the sametime if a man didn't want her to have the baby and she had it anyway, that was a CHOICE she made and what right does she have to make a man pay child support. basically the laws are stating what ever the women wants goes. how fair is that?

Ex. 3 i'm not to sure on how i feel about the recent rulings of disabled golfer Casey Martin and his right to use a cart during PGA events and the Texas judge's law to make convicted child molesters more or less wear a "scarlet letter". my heart says yes, but my mind says has the right and left gone to far from the middle? i think i will just live by example.

5/27/01 last night was amazing. J. Majesty played Irving Plaza last night opening for the Jets to Brazil and it WAS amazing. the place was packed, the vibe was ultra laid-back,friendly, and we played pretty good considering it was only my second show in the band. the rush has lasted into this morning and i hope it continues when we head out on the road for a few weeks opening for Rival Schools. there is a real family atmosphere about this band that i'm really taking to heart and artistically it is so statisfying. three cheers for the crew who has taken me in.

5/23/01 and on an opposite note of 5/13.....oh the replaceable pop punk band. how can we $$$ in by being so oi. green hair, tattoos and piercings have become the norm. i find more odditys in prep style dress. even most grandmothers aren't shocked anymore. the band members are interchangable as are the riffs, let's just put nursery rhyme melodys over somewhat distorted guitars and bashing drums. i can smell a new revolution starting in surburbia tomorrow. high schools everywhere beware, you may have to ban a new profanity driven t-shirt.

5/13/01 so many great bands and no time to hear them all. it's at a point now that i have to be fussy. over 600 cds and still not enough music or time to listen. a fond connection to those acts i know personally, an elusive one to those i don't. i want every scene to be heard yet i want to turn off the radio. the business is just that, but it's looking. the vibe is quite familer to that of the metal years of hair bands and the new kids. the change is around the corner and hopefully ALL the cream will rise to the top.

4/5/01 i found these to be interesting thoughts to start my day with.

Gandi's Seven Deadly Social Sins

Politics without Principle

Wealth without Work

Commerce without Morality

Pleasure without Conscience

Education without Character

Science without Humanity

Worship without Sacrifice

3/5/01 another shooting happened at a school today. columbine has moved to a suburb in sunny california. hysteria runs wild as everyone points fingers at the boy who took their best friend's life and though the shooting can never be justified, those involved still never think once that their friends may have had any reason to cause this.

the frustrating time of being a teenager reminds me of my time in high school still thinking to this day that i was never accepted or had a core support of friends to hang with. not enough of an athelete to over come my strange dress at the time, but yet didn't steal, smoke or skate to bond whole heartly with the freaks. many of times after being tormented in the boys locker room once literally with my hands tied, having my swimsuit pulled to my ankles in front of the girls team while on the blocks at a swim practice and another time thrown down a few bleacher steps have i thought about killing them all. i was the waif not totally mature enough to understand the girls misfeelings towards me or that the goons actions were caused by their own insecurity.

even after columbine no one thinks to ask why? did the bullies deserve it? maybe the kids in santee are the victims for the years and years of abuse from social cliques that states back to our grandparents' time.

it could have been columbine in south jersey not to long ago, but that didn't happen. i was fortunate enough with help of my family to get over both my embarassing happenings and physical short comings. most of those bullies are now still white trash, in jail or women stuck in time and a marriage they may regret or they are over-worked business men wishing to return to the glory days of getting their varsity letters. the thought that i would have ruined many peoples' lives along with my own over catty behavior seems foolish. but mostly, taking their lives would have been unjust and plain morally wrong. i didn't kill anybody back in my time at Cherokee High School, but i can understand why the 15 year old in california did.

PLEASE, IF YOU HAVE A GUN, LOCK IT UP AND ALLOW THE COMBINATION TO NO ONE OTHER THAN YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER. Things like this can be prevented.

2/12/01 i had an interesting time this past friday. about 3 months ago i was walking down madison in the 50's and this gentleman approached me in a way that i thought he was simply asking for directions, instead he gave me his card asking if i'd be interested in modelling. after i found out it was legit and that my portfolio would be a total investment on there behave, the only question i had was, will i be viewed as selling out? now the confidence and approval given to me by the most non-conformist independent artist i know (Tony of per/pow, Freebass) was refreshing, but some how doubts of being viewed as a sellout still lingered.

how much would this ruin my credability as an artist? i imagined thoughts of Kate Moss having a band and right away i doubted whether it would any good, as i think any artist would. do you really know any musician who's gone and seen Keanu Reeves' band Dogstar or list the Bacon Brothers as inspiration?

But after awhile i realized that was all bullshit. since when have i ever cared what the "cool crowd" thought? the whole thing sounded like a trip and anyone who would doubt my integrity obviously doesn't know me or the avant-garde music i tend to play and support.

needless to say it has been adventure. i've just done my first runway show for a designer named Francis Hendy and though it can be a pretencious industy, overall i felt good about being part of another artistic adventure even if it was in a supportive role. and please, i recognize ALL the steriotypes so spare me with the "talentless", the " putting of impossible standards for women" and the "encouraging girls to be bilemic" comments. i know where my talent lies and obviously those girl's parents didn't raise them with very much confidence. i wasn't actually excepted by the "cool crowd" when i was growing up either and you didn't see me pumping steriods to feel confident. relax and enjoy the view. Full Frontal Fashion

2/9/01 why does everyone say it's all about now? or, you are only remembered by the last thing you did. i can say that is true with those who do not know me, but i find myself to be the sentimental one. would you rather be the hottest thing of the moment or in the top 100 of all time? i think the latter shows more integrity. whether it's art, music or just a friendship i think it doesn't have to be current to mean something. making a guest list to your party of the decade do you call your old friend you hung out with everyday for 3 years that for some reason as faded to a slow current of casual conversation? or do you invite the recent pal that you like but haven't gone through anything with? I think about it sometimes. How much time does anyone actually spend with the people that are important in their life? you work and socialize (usually about work) with strangers that you may see 40 hours a week for 3-5 years yet you haven't seen your best friend because he lives on another coast or your parents in a month since you left for college. what is really important? i'll tell you i see some people everyday that i could really care less if they disappeared. i need to bring what matters closer, don't let go of the past, just don't be only one pushing to keep it current. remember those you loved that are now gone, but at the same point never turn back.

1/29/01 just got back from atlanta and was glad i moved. NOT because of the people, the food, the real estate, radio stations or the weather i must add. it was purely the under appreciated music scene. too many yuppies hanging in buckhead spending there money on young girls because now they are fat and bald men. and you cannot forget all the frat boys chasing skirts instead of dreams. the young artist have since evaporated into another city as i did myself. a sad way to die. the eyedrum is everything a scene should be. visual art and creative audio combine to make a wonderful scene, but we, the artist, are not here to deliver the yuppies food, feeling under appreciated, not respected as they ignore and not support what is really a happening downtown. GIVE THEM YOUR MONEY, YOU HAVE TOO MUCH!!

1/13/01 NYC is beautiful, trash and all. it's amazing how much is going on here yet i don't let the evil chaos effect me in the least. i've never seen such a hell hole with this much charisma. the clean neighborhoods seem sterile and boring, though i do wish someone would stop the punks who are always trying to steal my car.

1/6/01 I found a review of myself at Listen.com that made me smile. Life can feel really good sometimes.

11/02/00 This an article I wrote, still unpublished, for Southeast Performer magazine about a year and half ago. This is when singer/songwriters and pop guitarist where REALLY getting on my nerves. The article uses examples by only mainstream acts so ALL can understand.

LEARNING TO PLAY NICELY WITH OTHERS

As a non-song-writing drummer I have found myself in various musical situations often lead by someone else. I recognize the power that the song-writer has, for without the songs, there is no music to play. At the same time, I play music to express myself. In turn I hope to make that song-writers songs come through while showing an invaluable piece of myself inside of it. Now of course freedom has existed in a lot of my situations, but the general respect and attribute of a side player is just that, they are on the side, replaceable. As a result I find myself playing with 3 to 5 acts at a time getting different emotions from each situation dedicating myself to no one.

The problem is the true essence of a democracy in bands rarely exist. Outside of various side projects and recordings, I must say only half the acts I have played with have had a balance of power. This balance can only happen when there is complete respect for all other members as artist and the love that no one else could play this song the way that that band member does. An irreplaceable role that only the classic bands such as Rush, Led Zepplin , The Beatles, R.E.M.,The Police and U2 seem to have. Can you imagine no Peart, Bonham, Harrison, Summers or Clayton in any of these bands. Sure they may have wrote a few songs here and there, but for the most part they were the core in bringing the magic across from another song-writers material.

Now I am not the only one frustrated in this situation. I remember watching a video released by Sting made during the rehearsals of DREAM OF BLUE TURTLES album. At the time Branford Marsalis was a fairly unknown yet talented horn player playing with Sting, and in a conversation with the manager he asked why he was not receiving the same pay as Sting. The manager puts it bluntly saying without Branford the band gets another horn player; without Sting there is no show. Point taken, Branford plays with Sting another couple of years. This is until he established himself enough to not need the legacy of Sting to have a well known band. Sting in turn received no loyalty, and to wonder what that act could have created in the same realm of The Police is still unknown.

Now Sting had this power because he is a respectable artist with great songs, but also because he is established in the business and the problem of money does not exist. This is not true with most bands in the world, for most original acts do not make any where near that kind of cash nor have that much success to make those kind of demands.

What I find in this business is many song-writers stepping over his/her boundary by trying to declare what everyone else in the band should or should not play or at worse, even wear. Now this can work, many acts such as Lenny Kravitz, Beck, and various Hip-Hop/Dance producers have done it. But for the most part not all song-writers can play/program all the instruments as well as an individual player, let alone know that individual enough to know what they look good in.

So whats the result? Not a positive one. Without the choice to express ourselves freely,imagine if all us so-called side musicians demanded to be paid for all the rehearsals, recording and live shows? There would not be much good music floating around. Not as many independent releases and not as much live music. What we would find is a bunch of even poorer song-writers or a lot of one instrument and vocal base recordings and coffee house shows with songs not reaching their full potential.

This lack of loyalty encourages the replaceable sidemen to play in as many acts as possible, always looking for a better situation and not allowing the majority of the acts to arrive full circle. Whatever these goals may be. The song-writer in turn finds the ever floating rotation of players through his/her turnstile band or even worse playing with players way below his/her ability. These all of course giving the songs and the band no justice, which is why the song-writer should have wanted the power in the first place.

Now I am not talking about the normal constructive criticism and suggestions that exist in all bands. I am talking about the desire for complete control. Why is there a need for this power? The song-writer usually states that its their vision, and that the other band members do not hear or think of the songs as much or the same way as they do. Point taken, but I know they do not think of my instrument as much as I do. While they are spreading themselves out, I am concentrating on the ultimate part for my role in the song.

Where does the need for this power come from? Most bands get established through a group effort. Everyone placing their energy towards the goal of being successful. As the nature of the beast the singer and song-writer usually end in the spotlight. People telling them how wonderful they are leading them to forget how they got there in the first place, a team effort.

This whole unbalance of power even forced the fall of the Beatles. In the video of the making of LET IT BE, it is apparent Paul is unhappy with the players surrounding him. In turn he felt it was his responsibility to tell everyone what to play. Almost to the point where George says to him he will not play on the song if Paul hates what he is doing that much. At one time you even see Paul playing on a few drum tracks.

Not having been there, it is hard for me to judge whether he was right or not. But from what I have seen, though commercially successful, in no way is Paul McCartneys solo material anywhere near as influential to music today as the Beatles. To think that the true walrus (leader), John Lennon, didnt want the Beatles to break-up shows John knew and respected why he was able to create the music he did. It was the teamwork within the players of the band.

Fortunately, not all frontmen/women and song-writers feel the way Paul did. We all know Jim Morrison could of and was encouraged to have had a solo career, but according to various biographies his respect and love for the Doors over ran that. And what about Bono, Michael Stipe or Kurt Cobain? And for that matter, what about Tommy Lee? Do not you think he could have flaunted his power or started his own band? (He has since writing this article and I think he could learn a thing or two now himself.)

Gratefully, I have experienced that love in a few situations. So good, that the song-writer would even imagine the style of the band while he was writing the song. Thinking WHAT WOULD HE/SHE PLAY TO THIS?. A few bands, so free, that some songs were written while improvising together. I think highly of those bands and to this day feel they had the most original sound of all the acts I have played in. I just ask if a song-writer feels he/she needs to tell everyone what to play, maybe he/she is playing with the wrong people?

11/02/00 Since originally writing this article I've reached the other side creating my own electronic music and I see why some song-writers act the way they do. But as I desire the power now, I still see the final results and that's Chris Cornell's solo record compared to Soundgarden's LOUDER THAN LOVE album. Is there a comparison?